Dear Realness People:
The sun is beaming down hard now. Spring has taken hold of things, and Mother Earth has opened her arms and bosom to new birth. The sky, the air, is fat with sweet pollen and all kinds of other delicious smells of spring. It must be nice outside. Most of this year, and the tail end of last year, we have been on lockdown often for silly reasons. Have had about two sunny days thus far to enjoy outside of the cells.
We are back on lockdown. Lockdown because a lone prisoner, according to the news, took a warder hostage for ten hours. Only releasing the warder after the prison promised to transfer him and his belongings to another prison. No doubt, that inmate will get his wish now, and a lot more time added to his sentence. The incident happened weeks ago, and the prison officials and warders know it was the act of one man. He did his deed alone. Yet we are all still on lockdown, denied visits, phone calls, daily showers, store and outside activities. We are denied program because of this one inmate having known mental problems.
Holding anyone hostage, by any means, is not cool or acceptable. Be the hostage holders governments or individuals. In this case, again the news confirmed what the voices on the tiers and airwaves are saying: the person that held the hostage acted alone and was also a medicated mental health patient.
There needs to be a place in this woeful system of punishment for mental health treatment and not just a warehouse for people with severe mental problems. Right now prisoners with mental problems are only seen by psychologists under a quota system and assembly line type environment, so the mental worker can say “I saw this prisoner once in three months.” Each mental health worker here can have from 100 to 200 prisoners to see, thereby giving none of them any real quality mental health time other than to drug them up. There is no group therapy to speak of.
I remember a time years ago when I was at CMC prison and there were a lot of great mental health and group programs that actually made a real positive difference for prisoners. Perhaps that is the reason these programs don’t exist anymore. The warder held hostage was freed unharmed according to the news reports. So that is cool.
Word is we will be on lockdown for weeks or over a month. Word is there is a new warden running the prison who loves lockdowns and long ones. So it appears that on any whim, no matter how small, he will shut down program. Oh well, a long hot summer indeed.
Prison Day
I got up this morning in my lockdown mode again. I did my sit-ups and stretching. I will hold off on any heavy work out with push-ups, dips, squats, and pull-ups until this lockdown is over. Made myself a small cup of coffee, trying to preserve what little coffee I have. It always seems like they wait until my coffee is low to confine us to cells. I will have to drink that colored water the prison calls coffee by next week. But that is fine. I like coffee, but I don’t need it. I have my soups and fish to eat. Most of the food they serve now is not edible, and that is true even when there is no lockdown.
I have plenty of writing to do and books to read. Today I finished reading Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck, and I am almost done reading The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks. I am also reading Smilla’s Sense of Snow by Peter Hoeg.
I just re-read some of Shakespeare’s sonnets. I enjoy reading and memorizing them a few times each year. I quote Shakespeare’s sonnets to people who come visit me. Shakespeare’s magic with words always soothes my heart and spirit on lockdowns, and brings sunshine to my soul.
The tier airwaves are silent as if there has been a big riot or something. I think after a big riot between prisoners, particularly of different colors, everyone sits in the cells and ponders what stupid, insipid thing started the riot. All is silent now, no one speculating aloud about when the lockdown will be lifted. Just waiting in limbo. We had just come off a long lockdown.
The warders just brought the food by, and it looks like a plate of puke. The bread has mold on it. Fish and crackers here I come!
Writing Stuff
We have not had writing class in a while, and we were to review The DaVinci Code this Monday. No chance of that. I read the book, though, and it was a good read. Most people in the book group have a copy of the book and ample time to read it. No one can blame not reading on time. The way it looks, lockdown may be the norm this summer.
Bird Stuff
Sara, my plant friend, has lost all of its leaves and just two wilting stems are left. She still has roots. So I hope she will come back. It is obvious that someone has poisoned the soil that surrounded Sara. One inmate commented that is what happens, Spoon, when people can see you care so much about something. They know it is a way to hurt you. The guy then hurried and stated he thinks plants are great.
I pondered the guy’s assertions briefly, and let them go. There is nothing I can do about someone who dislikes me, himself, and other beings enough to kill a plant. He must have heavy karma or a barbell holding down his soul and spirit. To kill a plant looking only to grow, breath, caress the rays of the sun and sway in the wind. But even if Sara does not pull through, whoever damaged her did not break her spirit. Sara’s spirit and mine will be happy and not let whoever has done this deed make us hate. You cannot kill the spirit or what is beyond the body. Sara is just clinging to life. But no matter, she is forever alive. She is even in pictures now. I hope she will some day be on this site.
Stay Real Section
I just want to say keep your heads up, Peace G’s. Hopefully we will get more people involved with us spreading peace, love, forgiveness, growth, and realness beyond mental and physical borders.
OUT OF THE WAY
“Make yourself a light”
someone said
Though the suns as stars
are the brightest
in the skies
Your little light
will fulfill its dream
and become a sun
all over again, and again
Make yourself a light
by seeing and being the light
in the deer, a buzzard
an ant, a tree
Your sisters and brothers
from across the sea
Get out of the way
and glow and grow
Closing Thoughts
I was hoping by now to have a lawyer filing paperwork in the courts for my release. Because according to the laws in place when I was put in prison, I have been eligible for parole years and years ago. If the courts and prison system applied the laws. I sent a Board of Prison Terms form to the governor’s office asking for my parole, as I was instructed to do by the Board of Prison Terms. That was nearly a year ago, and I have heard nothing. Nothing is happening. Just more “Waiting for Godot.”
Yes, the sun is out heavy today. I can feel it through the walls and thick window. Spring is in full form. On the air, the pollen and other spring floating entities can be inhaled. What a beautiful scent spring is – a sweet robust aroma or a woman, a goddess.
Peace, love and realness to you all, especially Peace G folks. You know who you are! May the spring and summer bloom to enrich you all inside out.
Peace G. Out.
Spoon
